Inner Peace

There is that whole school of thought, the one about positive thinking, which I have been trying to explore in my life.
I have been trying to do away with the things which make me less than completely happy, joyful, complete. This has been a long process for me, because I have been learning some fascinating things about myself, and more than how fascinating I am, because, really, I think we all knew that already.
For instance, I seldom feel happy or fulfilled unless I am saying really mean things while stabbing puppies with a rusty nail.
Few things make me sparkle with happiness like talking about particular cartoon character being sodomized by a dog, and laughing at the misfortunes of others is what puts the bounce in my stride and the sparkle in my eyes.
Once, while pointing out the shortcomings of others, I was quite honestly so overcome with joy, bliss and jubulance that I started to tear up. Something about making sarcastic comments are what help me get out of bed in the morning.
The books I have been reading have been reading on the subject have ben very helpful, actually, and I recommend them freely. Without those books, I would still be pretending to be nice.
I have been able to find the manners which society has shackled me with, and dispatch them readily. Now I am a more focused, concentrated and distilled villainess. I have kicked my "naughty" quotient off the charts, from Mister Roger's spinster sister, the one with all the cats and the books all over the place, to something more like Sheri Moon Zombie in The Devil's Rejects, only with more bathing, a bigger ass, and a smidgen more common sense.
Oh. And I'm a brunette right now.
I guess the upshot of this posting is to suggest that by reading self-help books, you can truly become what you have always wanted to be. The thing is that I always wanted to be Ava Braun or the Bride of Frankenstein. Without the suicide and horrible death. I guess, more like that one chick who killed all those guys on the highway, that they had that movie about, but without the killing, the Death Row sentencing, the prostitution, or the lesbianism. Or the dying at the end.
You get the idea.