A Movie Review by Yours Truly

Let's look back at the horror that was the movie Covenant. June 26, 2007

I rented that movie "Covenant" the other day, and I was terrified.

Was it the subtle craftsmanship of plot, structure, and tension-building effects?

No.There is a girl in the shower at a co-ed college dorm. She feels someone's eyes upon her, and so she gets out of the shower, wrapping herself in a towel which is roughly the size of Rhode Island...and then the real horror begins.

She was barefoot! In a public shower!

Can you say "plantars’ warts"? How about "athlete's foot"?

But it gets worse. Connected to the shower area are toilets! This girl is half convinced that someone is peering at her from the enclosed stall areas. Sensibly, the girl decides not to push on the stall doors, to see if a stranger lurks within, but rather KNEELS ON THE FLOOR TO LOOK.
HER HAND! SHE PUTS HER HAND ON THE FLOOR TO SUPPORT HERSELF AS SHE PUTS HER HEAD ALMOST ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE TOILET AREA, WHERE THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO POOP HAVE WALKED! HER HAIR TOUCHES THE DIRTY DIRTY FLOOR!

And, perhaps the foulest of all sins, she didn't wash her hands after all this. Personally, I think it was time to just turn around and take another shower. This time in bleach.